


A Few Of A Pirates Favorite Things

by ChildofHalloween



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Holiday, Santa Claus - Freeform, Santa Gil, Sea Three
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 15:39:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17025411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildofHalloween/pseuds/ChildofHalloween
Summary: Piracy, breaking/entering, & new outfits are hands down the Sea Threes favorite things.A Christmas story in which Gil has a genius idea, Harry wears a dress, Uma gets pushed through a window, & they all deny doing good.(some language in there so be careful)





	A Few Of A Pirates Favorite Things

* * *

_**December 23** _

* * *

 

It was just a normal night at the fish shoppe when Jarome a little dark haired boy came running in waving something in his hands catching the attention of the crew of the Lost Revenge.

“Dad! Dad! Look!” the boy said who couldn't of been more than 5 said running over to Jonas.

“What you got?” Jonas said with a smile as the boy climbed onto his lap.

“Look what I found in one of the bins from Auradon! Santa!” the boy said slamming a crinkle picture of Santa, Mrs Claus, & an elf sitting by a tree surrounded by presents.

Jonas’ smile faded instantly along with the rest of the crew. Christmas was always the hardest on the children of the Isle knowing they would never be able to give them anything. It always lead to a lot of heart broken and bitter children. Even the crew had gone through it when small.

“Oh buddy we talked about this. You know Santa doesn't stop at the Isle the barrier keeps him out.”

“I know but I think it's a sign! He's coming this year.” the boy said excitedly.

“I wouldn't get your hopes up.”

“But why not? Why does he always have to skip us?”

“Hey now. Ain't it a little late for you to be up?” Uma interrupted walking over the little boy looked down guilty.

“Yeah.” he admitted.

“I know you got school tomorrow to so go to bed.” she said patting him on the head he crossed his arms.

“I hate school I ain't going.” he said pouting.

“Your going to go to school tomorrow and your gonna go home go to bed now. Captain's orders.” she said his shoulders dropped disappointed.

“Fine. So not fair.” he grumbled walking to the door.

“Thank you.” Jonas said she waved him off.

“Don't worry he'll forget about it.” she said knowing it was a lie.

Gil sat thinking about the excitement the boy had about Santa. It was almost the same as him as a boy. He remembered every year wishing Santa would stop. He didn't care what he got he just wanted some sort of sign Santa hadn't forgotten about him. And every year he woke up to nothing but heart break.

Even after his brothers told him Santa wasn't real he still believed. Hell somewhere deep down he still thought Santa was out there somewhere. With all the magic of Auradon how could he not?

He had been so lost in thought he hadn't noticed everyone else left but Harry who was busy talking to Uma who was sitting on the table between them.

“I got an idea!” he said causing both of them to look at him oddly.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asked looking over at him.

“I got an idea! We should bring Santa to Jarome!” Gil said excitedly.

“Uhhh Gil I hate to tell you but Santa isn't real.” Uma said putting a hand on his shoulder wondering if he was 17 still be living in Santa. She really wouldn't put it past him.

“Well I know that. But what if we make him think there is?” Gil said Uma looked intrigued.

“Go on.” she encouraged.

That was when Gil explained his master plan to a very shocked looking Uma and Harry. A plan involving pirating, new outfits, and breaking/entering. All of their favorite things.

“Gil I never thought i would say this but that's genius!” Uma said loving everything he proposed.

Gil smiled proudly. “Never thought i would hear it.”

“You think we can really do it?” Harry asked looking skeptically.

“Well there is the next shipment from Auradon comes in tomorrow night.” Gil said.

“Christmas Eve.” Harry said even he was starting to think it was a sign.

“Gil you think you can throw together some costumes by tomorrow night?” Uma asked Gil thought for a moment before noticing the a red sheet hung outside one the washline.

“Can I have the sheet?” He said pointing outside Uma shrugged.

“Its moms I don't give a fuck.” she said.

“Then its no problem.” Gil said sounding sure.

“Right so tomorrow night late once the tide rolls out meet here.” Uma instructed.

 

* * *

**_The next night Christmas Eve_ **

* * *

 

Harry had originally had his doubts about this whole stupid idea of Gil's. Disappointment was like an Isle tradition. Of course he never even had a chance to believe in Santa Harriet made sure of that.

His doubts had now turned into full on refusal. Anyone who thought he was going to do this was dumb. No way he was leaving the bathroom no fucking way.

Uma sat on the table looking at the bathroom annoyed. Harry was sent in to change and now refusing to come out. He was acting like a little brat.

“Come on Harry!” she yelled again.

“No!”

“Your doing it for the kid.” Gil said adjusting his red pants with white trim and matching shirt he made giving him a certain Santa appearance well Santa with a slight pirate style as he added patches of red leather here and there. And forgone the red hat for a red bandana which he added some white cotton giving the appearance of white hair.

“Don't care!” Harry yelled.

“Fine do it for Jonas.” Uma urged from her spot on the table. Gil had made her a dark green patchwork dress of miscellaneous green fabric patterns he found. She also had a matching hat she tucked her long braids into.

Over all Gil thought she made an adorable little elf though he'd never tell her she'd hit him. And her punches hurt.

“He can go fuck himself.’ Harry said.

“Ok what about the greater good?” Gil asked they all got silent for a moment before busting out laughing. None of them cared about the greater good.

“Ok. Ok. I am your captain and I order you to get your ass out here now. I am done playing Harry!” Uma ordered.

There was silence for a moment before they heard the lock click. Uma smirked she knew the Captain card would work. It always did.

Grudgingly Harry walked out sneering at both of them as they tried their best to keep their composure.

“Nice legs.” Uma said finally losing it along with Gil.

“I hate you both so much.” Harry said crossing his arms. He stood in the middle of the chip shop in a knee length red and white dress matching Gil's outfit. There were no words for him outside of humiliated. “I still don't understand why I can't be an elf.”

“No one is gonna believe your 6 foot ass is an elf.” she said grabbing something off the table behind her.

“She's right it just made more sense for Shrim…..Uma to be an elf she's tiny. So that left Mrs Claus. It just makes sense.”

“If it makes so much sense let me be Santa and you wear the dress!”

“It was custom made for you I doubt I could fit your so skinny.” Gil said not noticing the death glare he was getting as Harry stepped closer.

“Besides look what we found down at the bazaar. It's like a sign.” Uma said shoving a white wig onto Harry's head.

“Please tell me you checked it for bugs.” he said adjusting the wig.

Uma glanced over at Gil who just shrugged.

“It'll be fine.” Uma said giving him a big fake smile. Yup he was sure right there and Then he hated all of them. “And it's getting late we got a boat to rob.”

Well that was more Harry's style as he smirked at least the night wouldn't be a total waste.

 

The group had been hiding behind some big empty boxes Harry more so then the other two. They waited till they saw the ship they had been waiting on to dock and get ready to unload.

“Perfect. Let’s do this.” Uma said as they exited their hiding spot & made their way onto the boat.

The Goblins stopped what they were doing looking at the group.

“What are you doing?” One of the Goblins asked looking at the oddly dressed group.

“We are here to take your cargo.” Gil said looking down at them they all just laughed.

“You think we’re going to give it to you Santa?” The one asked laughing with the others.

“Oh no your not going to give it to Santa. Your gonna give it to me.” Uma said pulling out her sword threateningly. “Tie them up.”

“With pleasure.” Harry said pulling rope out of the back of his dress then tossed some of it to Gil as they proceeded to tie up the group of Goblins to the railing of the ship.

They soon made their way down to the cargo hold of the ship to start their pillaging. Looking around they all split up as they started digging through bags of used items everything from clothes to books to kitchenware but most importantly toys.

“Hey look at this!” Gil said pulling out a toy from a bag. It was a little car that turned into a robot he started playing with it. “I always asked Santa for one of these when I was a kid.”

“That’s awesome.” Harry said as Gil handed it over to him. Uma let out an annoyed noise grabbing it from the two.

“We aren’t looking for ourselves we are looking for Jarome got it?” She asked chucking the toy across the room.

“Yes Uma.” Both boys said slightly dejected as they returned back to sorting.

“You think we should get something for little Sammy Smee? I bet he’d like this.” Gil said holding up a toy boat.

“That’s actually a good idea. What about Ginny Gothel?” Uma said holding up a beat up fashion doll.

This went on for a while and before they knew they were each dragging out a large bag filled with toys to go to different children they knew on the Isle. As much as they wouldn’t say it outloud they all agreed no child their side of the Isle was going to be disappointed if they could help it.

“Man this is heavy.” Uma said tossing her bag on the ground.

“Uma darling. You think we may of gone a little overboard? I mean how are we gonna drag all of this around?” Harry said knowing that dragging the bag around all night was going to kill his back tomorrow.

“I’m thinking.” She snapped as she looked around for some sort of idea. That was when she noticed a rickshaw leaning against a dead thorny rose bush a smile coming to her face. “We just need some reindeer.”

“Reindeer? What in the world are you talking about?” Harry asked confused Uma just smirked.

“Untie them I got an idea.” She said running down the plank as she pulled some dead branches off the thorn bush.

“What’s she up to now?” Harry said shaking his head Gil just shrugged.

“I just don’t question her. Safer that way.”

It was nothing unusual to see Goblins pulling rickshaws down the street no one would of even bothered to think twice. But to see a group of them with thorns tied to their head like some sort of antlers while pulling muscular Santa, a very hairy Mrs Claus, & a small elf sitting on Mrs Claus lap, well that was definitely something that could get a few looks. Luckily for them (again mostly Harry) there wasn’t anyone out that late to see them as they pulled up to their first stop. The house of little Sammy Smee.

“So how are we gonna get in?” Harry asked looking around to see if there was some sort of entrance open.

“The front door?” Gil suggested the other two looked at him like he was dumb.

“There is no way that we can just waltz right into the front door. Maybe break in the back?” Uma said as Gil walked away to the house.

“No that would be too obvious. A window maybe?” Harry suggested.

“Guys.” Gil called looking over at the other two.

“There is only 1 window over there unless you wanna climb the tree…” Uma said.

“Guys.” Gil said again.

“Well we can’t very well go through the chimney. He’s not actually bloody Santa ya know?” Harry said.

“GUYS!” Gil yelled getting their attention.

“What!?!” They both said annoyed.

“Doors open.” Gil said opening the door as Uma & Harry looked on dumb struck.

“You gotta fucking me.” Uma muttered walking inside the house digging through her bag to find a gift to leave in the middle of the living room.

Gil instead walked into the kitchen.

“What are you doing!?!” whispered Uma as she saw Gil digging through the fridge.

“I’m hungry! Besides it's the least they can do.” He said pulling out a leftover sandwich stuffing it in his mouth.

“Fine your right. But let’s go we more houses to hit.” she said pulling him back out of the house shutting the door behind her.

It was odd for the 3 to break into someone's house to leave something instead of taking something. It just felt wrong almost dirty to be good.

Either way they were on a mission & they had to complete it no matter how it made them feel. The next stop was Ginny Gothel. Sadly for them they tried again but this time the front door was securely locked. But thanks to a little bit of practice (ok a lot) Harry was able to jimmy open the back door.

Which turned out to be the worst thing they could of done as a large dog lunged at the door barking hysterically. Slamming the door shut they looked at each other.

“Well what’s the plan for this?” Harry said looking at Uma as they all pushed the door shut.

“Why are you asking me!?! I don’t know anything about man eating dogs!” She snapped pushing with all her might to keep the dog away who was still trying to break the door down.

“This whole thing is your idea!” Harry said knowing damn well she was always the one with the plan between the three of them. His job was just to follow them.

“My idea! No this was Gil’s idea! Get it right!” She corrected & at that moment Gil had another great idea.  
“I got it! You guys back up we’re going in.” Gil said digging through his pockets for something.

“Nuh uh I am not going to get eaten by a dog.” Uma said.

“I got this just watch.” Gil said slowly cracking the door open to the large attack dog. “Here puppy…..here puppy. I got something for you.”

Uma & Harry closed their eyes not wanting to see the death of their stupid best friend to a rabid dog. Soon the barking stopped, both of them peeked their eyes open to see Gil on the floor cuddling up to the large black dog.

“What the…” Uma said confused watching the boy who was busy giving the dog belly scratches.

“I had some beef jerky in my pocket. Everyone loves beef jerky don’t they?” Gil said his attention turned back to the dog again.

“Uh huh…..well hurry up & leave the thing before it changes its mind to eat ya.” Harry said still standing outside in case the dog went nuts.

“He’s just a big baby. He looks a lot scarier then he is.” Gil said getting up.

“No its a slobbering mess.” Harry said looking at the dog who let out a growl.

“I wasn’t talk about the dog.” Gil said with a smirk putting down the present.

It seemed once they realized what exactly they were doing (& exactly how much beef jerky Gil carried around) it became easier & easier. Though it was still far from a walk in the park. They were even making some good time they could possibly even finish it before the sun came up. That was till they got to the last house the whole reason they started this stupid mission, Jonas’s house.

“I can guarantee you he locks his front door.” Uma said knowing her cousin wasn’t dumb enough to leave his door open. Ok she mostly knew that because she tried to steal from him in the past.

“Ok we will use the back door.” Harry said Uma shook her head.

“He doesn’t have a back door.” Uma said.

“That’s what she said.” Gil said with a laugh making Harry laugh at the dumb joke as Uma just glared at them both.

“Ok….how about a window?” Harry said looking & noticing the lack of windows that could open. But there seemed to be one that was cracked open, on the second floor. Now the question was how to get to the window.

“Maybe we can use the rope?” Gil suggested Uma shook her head.

“Nah it’s not that high. You guys just give me a lift & I’ll open the front door.”

They moved over as close to the window as they could get both of them hoisting Uma above their heads as she reached for the cracked open window.

“Don’t you dare look up my skirt Harry Hook!” She yelled pulling herself up.

“Wouldn’t dream of it darling.” he said as he was busy staring up her skirt.

“I can almost get in but not quite. When I say push you guys push.” she said half in the window.

“Did she say push?” Gil asked Harry just shrugged.

“I haven’t a clue.” Harry & Gil looked at each other just shrugged before pushing her the rest of the way in the window. They heard a giant crash follow by a string of swear words.

“Oh she’s gonna be pissed.” Gil said.

The front door flew up with a very disheveled looking Uma who was glaring at both the boys.

“I said when I say push!” She growled they both looked away from her glare.

“Your the one who wanted to go through the window so we put you through the window.” Harry pointed out as she punched him in the shoulder. “Owww!”

“Let's just get this over with.” She muttered rubbing the now sore spot on her head.

They were right about to leave when they heard some foot steps going down the stairs causing them all to freeze. Coming down the stairs was a very tired half asleep Jarome looking around. His face suddenly lit up as he realized what was happening.

“SANTA SANTA! YOU DID COME!” He yelled running over giving Gil a big hug.

“Of course I came! I had to let my biggest fan know I didn’t forget about him.” Gil said bending down to talk to the boy.

“But why didn’t you come all the other years?” He asked confused Gil just patted him on the head.

“It’s hard to get past the dome sometimes kiddo. I am working on it. But for now why don’t you just keep this between us?” He said pulling out the toy he had picked out for him.

“Anything for you Santa.” He said again hugging Gil.

“Now you need to go back to bed & I have other kids to go visit.” Gil said hugging him back. “Make sure you be a good kid now. Listen to your captain.”

“Ok what about my dad?” The boy asked Harry scoffed.

“Don’t listen to that dickweed.” He said getting elbowed by Uma in the side. “I mean yes listen to him too.” He corrected in a fake woman voice.

“Ok I promise Mrs Claus. But why do you have such hairy legs?” He asked looking at Harry who turned red.

“Mrs Claus doesn’t need to have silky legs to land her a man.” Harry said offended with his high pitch voice. “Now go to bed!”

“Ok!” The boy said bouncing up stairs. “Thank you Santa! Thank you Mrs Claus! Thank you Elf who broke into the bathroom window!”

They all watched the boy go off down the hallway a smile on their faces. They’d never say it but that moment they were actually happy to be doing what they were doing. Uma wrapped her arms around each of them pulling them into a hug. Sometimes she loved her boys.

The moment was brief as they saw the upstairs light turn on.

“Beat it!” Harry yelled as they all ran out the house hearing yell behind them.

 

* * *

 

**Christmas Morning**

* * *

 

The sun was all the way up by the time the three had dropped off the gifts, freed the goblins, & made their way to the Fish & Chip Shop to celebrate with a few 7am beers. They had practically had to drag themselves into the restaurant as Gil & Harry both fell into chairs half asleep. Uma went behind the bar to see what she could steal without her mom noticing (pretty much a free pass) when she noticed something sitting on the table by the door.

“You guys! I told you nothing was for us.” She said annoyed walking over to the three wrapped boxes.

“But we didn’t.” Gil said looking over at the boxes.

“Don’t lie.” She said crossing her arms.

“He ain’t lying love. We were with you the whole time. Look.” Harry said shaking the bag he had been carrying all night showing it was empty.

“Wait there’s a note.” Gil said picking it up & reading it.

 

_Gil, Uma, & Harry:_  
_Thank you for all the help._  
_I put you all on the good list this year._  
_S.C_

 

They all looked at each other confused there was no way S.C could be who they thought it was. Gil picked up a yellow wrapped box inspecting it. With a shrug he opened the wrapping looking inside the box a big smile spread across his face.

“I always wanted one of these! It’s even the right color!” Gil said pulling out the yellow & blue toy car robot hybrid.

With her curiosity peaked Uma grabbed the turquoise colored box shaking it slightly. It made a muffled sound whatever was in it was big. Opening the box the she let out a happy noise.

“What’d ya get?” Harry said looking over her shoulder as she pulled something black & white out the box.

“It’s a seapony.” She said holding the stuffed animal Harry rolled his eyes.

“Of course it is.” He said knowing her very odd weakness for the animals.

“Well what’d you get?” Gil asked handing a small red box to Harry who looked at it unhappy.

“Of course I get the small one.” he complained opening it he pulled out a small plant. “What the fuck is this?”

“You got a plant?” Gil asked as confused as Harry looked as he pulled out a note.

“It says something.” Harry said looking at the note Uma just sighed grabbing it out of his hand.

“You can’t read that.” She said matter of factly as she read the note out loud. “Mistletoe is the English common name for most obligate hemiparasitic plants in the order Santalales. They are attached to their host tree or shrub by a structure called the haustorium, through which they extract water and nutrients from the host plant.”

“Well why the fuck do I want that?” He looked at the thing confused.

“Shut up that’s not all.” Uma continued to read. “It’s is Christmas tradition that whenever two people are standing under the mistletoe they are to share a kiss.”

Harry’s look of confusion turned into a big smile.

“Oh Uma!” He said in a sing song voice she shook her head.

“Nope. Nope. Nope.” She said stepping back as he tried to hold it above her.

“Come on you can’t break Christmas law can ya?”

“He’s right plus it’s from Santa ya so probably gotta do it.” Gil said looking up from his toy that was fiddling with when Uma had an idea & whispered something in Gil’s ear. He just shrugged.

“Fine. Merry Christmas Harry.” Uma said with a smirk.

Both Uma & Gil surrounded Harry who was still holding the mistletoe as they gave him a kiss on each cheek.

“You know what I’ll take it.” Harry said putting his arms around them both. “And Merry Christmas to both ya. But I really gotta get out this dress it’s riding up on me.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was just supposed to be a quick little thing to get in the Christmas spirit & take a little break from Across the Sea. Well this little thing ended up being like 12 pages. Opps lol. 
> 
> Across the Sea will be updated next week or the week as I have a couple more 1 shots I'd like to post. We shall see how it goes. 
> 
> Either way Happy Holidays everyone!


End file.
